What have we done to curiosity?

Through this process of homeschooling, I have opened a never-ending discussion in my head regarding the differences between teaching and learning. We often use the terms interchangeably as we discuss our children's schooling. "What are you teaching them?" assumes "What are they learning?" Reality is teaching me (and I am learning) that the two are quite different.

Until a kid wants to learn, I can teach until forever and never connect. We know this. Yet we continue to harbor a school system that teaches its way to The Test each year, losing our kids' interest and curiosity along the way.

Consider the typical discipline issues a science teacher must deal with. Let's say each student has been given a straw, a rubber band, a 1/4 cup of water and a piece of paper. On each desk is a worksheet with clear instructions that will draw the student to an intended conclusion. Instead of following the directions, Charlie snips his straw in half and the battle begins:

"Charlie, why did you snip the straw in half? The directions stated the experiment will  only work with the whole straw."

"Dunno."

 "Charlie? Perhaps you should head to the principal's office."

From a teacher's perspective, I get this. In a classroom of thirty plus students, one must maintain a sense of unity and power. But what if Charlie just wanted to know what would happen if he cut the straw in half? What if he were *gasp* curious?  How did Edison discover the light bulb? He had to try a ton of stuff. He had to first be curious. Have we become so intent on the teaching that we have disallowed our kids the opportunity to learn?

I am not dissing teachers. They have an impossible job. How can we move to correct this travesty in public school? What do you think?

I'll Take That Glimmer of Hope

Two things happened this week. Well, three, if you count SJ's surgery.

Because of the surgery (a minor procedure), we had no choice but to lay low this past week. I purchased an online reading comprehension program, Learning Upgrade. It's what educators are calling "artificially intelligent," where it feeds the student concepts only to the level they can/have mastered. It won't let a student advance until he is at least proficient.  I handed over the laptop and took a shower. Usually, I would expect to find that he has moved on to something much more intellectually stimulating when my back turns, say the Legos site. Imagine my surprise to find him working through his second and third levels of the program. Ping.

Next, I scrapped the paperback reading book and offered him stacks of Popular Science, Breakaway, and various cycling magazines. I told him he needed to read for 1/2 hour, just like if he were reading a book. An hour and a half later, I had to pull him away from the magazines. Ping ping.

I found what I thought was a super cool visual dictionary site called Visuwords. If you have a visual learner (middle school or above), I would recommend checking it out. It uses colors and shapes to make connections to word parts, definitions, synonyms, and more. Thinking we were on a roll, I introduced the site and watched as SJ promptly switched off. Not successful. Move on.

He had fun with a site full of "brain games" also beneficial for we adults who fear losing our acuity. Many of the games are similar to exercises he did in vision therapy. Sometimes we have to redefine our ideas about "play." He may have accidentally sharpened his thought processes on Lumosity.com. Oh well.

But these weren't the two things I refer to in my title. I lead him to all of the above. He just took the bait. No, what I saw were glimmers of an independent thinker.

First, on Friday night, I caught him with the Direct TV manual in his lap, open to a page of directions. With remote in hand, he was reading and following directions to solve a problem he needed to fix. He didn't ask us to tell him how (ok, he did try his brother but when that didn't work...). I was tempted to jump in and give him the simple answer but, thankfully, recognized the opportunity for what it was. For most, a small thing. For me (and for him), it was a huge breakthrough. Other than Legos instructions, I doubt SJ has ever sought an instruction manual for anything in his life.

Second, and equally mundane for most, he responded to his dad's need desire for cookies and milk. He offered to make cookies knowing that we didn't have any more of the super fast and easy fundraiser cookie dough. Did he realize he had to follow a recipe? Apparently he did! I helped find the recipe and left him to do his work. We had a near miss as he forgot to add the dry ingredients but he got right back on track as soon as we called this to his attention. The cookies were both tasty and beautiful. And to this mom, they were so much more than a treat. Those cookies represented an early and encouraging step in the direction of confidence and independence. Ping. Ping. Ping! Sometimes we need to take what we can get.

A Weekend Offers Perspective

After my little meltdown last week, I took a chill pill and had the opportunity for a physically strenuous (as opposed to mentally strenuous) weekend of cleaning out my house and having a giant yard sale with 50 (yes 50!) of my neighbors. So satisfying on so many levels. Exhausted, I fell into bed at 8:00 p.m. and awoke Sunday in time to attend our 9:00 a.m. service. I felt as if I hadn't been as awake and rested in a month.

The thing about our 9:00 a.m. service is that a group of exuberant Celebrate Recovery (former addicts) folks occupy the first two rows of seating, literally right in front of the stage. Always effusive, always smiling broadly, always swaying enthusiastically to our lively worship, always...exuberant. I am all for enthusiastic praise but I have to admit, I've looked at them with dose of accusation, that maybe they were just a little over-the-top.

Here is where I have to say that T.V. is not always a bad thing. I've been watching Addicted on TLC, not so much because I enjoy seeing people in their addictions but because I am fascinated by the intervention techniques. (I am studying for my Counseling degree.) It's a disturbing show, to say the least, but the progression from stupor to lucidity can't help but make a person stand up and cheer. I guess I have only imagined a life of addiction, never really seen it.

I wanted to hug those front row people yesterday. Throw up your hands, dear friends. These are people who know what they have been delivered from and are paying due respect and offering a sacrifice of joy to the One who gave them a new day.

Next, my attention turned toward our drummer, a motley kid I've watched grow from awkward teen to scruffy young man. I know he struggled with school and has spent a few wayward years finding his way to adulthood. But the kid can play. I don't know his school story and why he struggled, but it warmed my heart to see him there, offering the gift he does have.

What if my SJ takes a crooked path? I'm not setting him up for that but consider it for  a moment. Often our greatest suffering, our biggest challenge, our thorn, if you will, leads to the most acute joy and thankfulness. As a parent, I would protect him from ill. But my job above all is to be on my knees, praying for the will of the Father in his life.

On the curriculum front, I had a wonderful conversation with the Grand Pumba Handler who reminded me to relax and know that I cannot teach SJ anything at a level where he isn't. She encouraged me to concentrate on foundational skills and let the science and history and literature work it's way in. It was reassuring and we spent Friday doing "math" and industry as we marked and labeled our treasures for sale. We even threw in an impromptu investment lesson as he purchased a case of Skittles to sell at 100% markup. It was a much better weekend. Thank you all for your comments and encouragement. This week our hand is forced. He is having his adenoids removed on Tuesday so we will not have a choice but to relax. I am looking forward to the week.

Easter Break Offers Time to Reflect

Easter break came at just the right time. We've been at this for five weeks now and while we are falling into a routine, that's just it--we are falling into a routine.

When we started this venture, I had ideals of helping my son rediscover his interests and love of learning through less structured days and unhurried explorations. I reluctantly accepted textbooks knowing that they would fall short but figured I would use them as my springboard to subject immersion. How quickly one falls into rote academia. The thing is, textbooks (and teacher's manuals) make it easy to deliver a lesson and one can feel that, at the end of the day, each subject has at least been touched. But I'm not sure our homeschool is looking that much different than the middle school classroom, save for the couch and kitchen table.

A weekend of decompression has, for  me, allowed some time to return to blog boards and the infinite wisdom of ones who have gone before me. (Total side note: I've encountered some of the coolest "thinkers" and "writers" among homeschool moms. What an insightful group.) My head is aswim with thoughts of purpose, curriculum, learning styles, and teaching methods. It's enough to overwhelm but one message repeatedly makes its way to the top of the pile: Trust yourself. Know your child and do what you know. Life presents learning opportunities at every turn.

What I am struggling with right now is missing the two-way conversation with someone who can answer some of my questions. Another blogger mom recently expressed frustration at trying to explain the merits of homeschooling. I get what she is saying in that trying to discuss what I am learning with my "school" friends and discussing solutions is difficult because they aren't doing the research I am doing and are not facing the unique journey I am taking. While supportive, they cannot offer the insight I crave in this area. Here are some of my ponderings.

• I've forgotten my commitment to "deschooling." At A to Z Home's Cool site, several articles reminded me that kids who exit the public school system need time to decompress, nearly a month per year in school. Do the math. For SJ, that would fully seven months! What does that look like? I fear days of endless (and non-educational) computer surfing and I, Carly on Nick if left unchecked. Would he really find his way to rich and educational topics? I'm not so sure, but then, he is still a traditionally trained student and learning still looks like school to him. I love the idea of this concept but struggle with the "how" and truth be told, the worry that nothing will be added to my son's brain (which is exactly what proponents say the deschooling will counter).
• The Charlotte Mason Method. Again, love the idea of this method that, in a nutshell (and from my limited understanding), suggests using real books to study subjects. By doing so, students will connect with the depth and emotion of a topic instead of simply glossing over the main points. This appeals to me and I totally get how it could work, especially in history and literature, but I wonder how one does math once kids reach pre-algebra. I understand counting pennies by fives, but I don't see myself finding algebraic equations in everyday life.

Finally, I found this review while reviewing the book, Homeschooling: The Teen Years: Your Complete Guide to Successfully Homeschooling the 13- to 18- Year-Old. I had to check the author to see if I had somehow written it. Nope. It turns out this was from a mom in 2000. It seems the issues we have faced are not new ones:

Two weeks ago I pulled my 12 year old, seventh grade student from public school on basically what was a spur of the moment, desperation move. Long story short, he has... never enjoyed even one day of school (including kindergarten), and [had] writing/processing problems. I was tired of trying to get the teachers to cooperate, my son to do his homework after school, tears, low self-esteem and failing grades. I just knew there had to be a better way to help my son receive the education he deserves.

Again, let me say how grateful I am to have accepted this journey and to have the opportunity to do it. I know I am headed in the right direction but as with anything new, there is a learning curve and if I have learned anything so far, it is that every homeschool journey is unique.